The Holiday Ball
Caption Competition Result
Ciggles ponders the enormity of it all
The Best Of The Rest
Run away, Run away.
-- Dennis Graf
DOOTERS NEWS SERVICE: NORTH POLE
Millions of people around the globe were disapppointed that Kris Kringle,
aka Santa Claus, was arrested in a quite Scandavian village on charges
of using child labors in his deliveries. Mr. Claus defended his use of
"the little cherubs" by saying they were "only helping
out, and in fact were volunteering." Mr. Kringle's lawyers commented
on the case by saying that Kringle was really a mythological figure, but
when has that ever stopped the U.N.
... because they don't have chimneys in Milton Keynes!
-- Mike N
Santa wondered why Mrs Claus kept baking bigger and bigger whelks.
Are you sure they won't notice you took the turkey??
-- Beth S
Crimewatch: Here we have an elderly crossdresser, with a fake beard, and
two unknown accomplices: caught on neighbourhood video surveilence
"Fly tipping" reindeer shit!
If you can help identify any of this group call 0800 999 9999, our
lines are open!
After a few thousand chimneys and a lot of sherry, Santa would always
shout "I'm going to leave the b*** stuff out here and they can b***
well come out and get it!"
-- Nell W
I told you you couldn't juggle whilst shoving your sack through the
window. Would you listen?
-- Clare B
Darn! Santa's dropped his ball again
Careful how you pick my balls up little Elf.
Santa don't lose your sausage, I'm picking your plums up
-- Lynne M
Ooh, Santa's dropped his balls.
As Santa's dustbin was full he got the help of a couple of young gals he
knew to get rid of his xmas rubbish.
-- Trevor B
Seven years, seven years they said then I could retire, that was 12
"Hey Santa, put that back!"
dam elves! will you put the ladders back
-- Steven M
Elf: You've dropped another one Santa.
Santa: Sorry, it must be the Christmas Pudding.
-- Colonel Lawrence
Santa thought this must be the only house that didn't use online shopping!
-- Marina C
Nessie Burger for Corse, Nessie Burger for Corse, where is that man?
"Look you two, I am knackered, at least the Reindeer could carry a
-- Amanda G
Cherubs gathering Dolphin droppings while Santa slides it into a stocking.
"Striking Helpers lead Santa to call for Divine Assistance"
-- Ed W
Michael Jackson found a handy furnace to "store" the evidence in!
Michael, Do I have to sit on your knee again this year?
"I say Santa, what is it?"
"It's a special order of frozen Tuna, Ems, my little cherub,
sourced in The Gulf, frozen in Germany, shipped through the UK,
Scotland and Ireland to New York then across country via Chicago,
Pittsburgh and Seattle up North to us and now we have to deliver it
to one GT at BI. I do wish they had used UPS."
That's it kids, put those rocks in the snowballs, the GMS crowd will be
along any minute!
What does the letter say? Drop weight on phluph, signed V?
Jan 1, 2004
Why, I must be in Italy, they are throwing out the stuff they don't want
for next year. OK, guys lets keep all the stuff.
-- Dennis Graf
Variation on a carrot!